More Airport Failures- This Time I'm Radioactive
People more visionary than me have written extensively about how any why airport security is an ineffective sham that is designed only to control and subjugate us, and instill a false sense of security. I certainly don't take issue with that view, but I'm obliged to deal with the TSA people periodically, and not once have I seen evidence of competence.
Last week, on Friday, I was injected with a radioactive material (on purpose). I have a defective heart and it warrants periodic scrutiny, which is aided by a radioactive isotope called Thallium-201, which has a half-life of 73 hours. I was due at the airport about 14 hours later, where ALLEGEDLY there are geigercounters surruptitiously installed. The medical type people told me to expect to be pulled aside and searched, and they thoughtfully gave me a note that explained the process and reason for me to "glow" in this way. Whatever. I dutifully took the note to the airport, and was wondering if the mouth-breathing TSA retread that would ransack my nicely packed bag would know that Thallium is an element ("Tl" #81, if you don't have a Periodic Table handy), and it never happened.
Nope. I was never stopped, and never had to use my "Get Out Of Jail Free" card. Well, hooray, right? No, sorry. I was FOR SURE someone that should have been given a secondary screening. While it is possible that I could have dimished the radiation signature by drinking lots of water and flushing out my kidneys, liver and for that matter, bladder- but I didn't. I wanted to see how effective these numb nuts are, and made an effort not to drink much water. I also was not stopped on the return flight, Sunday PM (still well within the 73 hour half-life span).
So, do you think the geigercounter business is a lie? Has anyone EVER been stopped because of their radioactivity? I bet not.
Labels: UAL can suck my balls