A Nostalgic Tale Of Vulgarity
So once upon a time I had a friend named Don who was (and maybe still is) as unusual a character as I am. We were (usually metaphorically) like the ingredients of gunpowder- he the sulfur and I the saltpetre (only because I like saying "saltpetre" more than "nitrates"), and the circumstances would be the charcoal. In any event, we had a lot of verbal challenge games we'd play, and the two most prevalent were making up offensive band names, and silly pseudonyms. In the latter, he was typically "Flexbar Chimpwhistle" and I was "Snodon Bulwark". Maybe you had to be there.
But this post is about this picture and how it sent me back in time to Don's absolute victory in the offensive band name contest. He came up with "Jesus' Penis"
It's golden, I tell ya.
Labels: Rude
posted by Stucco at 6:31 PM
14 Comments:
Did I ever tell you about my record label, Mystic Jism? We've signed a lot of bands similar to yours through the years, like Hungover Mother, Mary Aborted and Freektard. Welcome aboard!
Jesus Penis ANd The 12 Possibles?
I was thinking along the lines of people who just didn't quite make it make it at being famous but had to endure life with people always asking them, "what did you say your name is?" such as Adolph Kettler, Winston Churchall, Margaret Catcher,
Sigmund Boyd,Albert N Stein.
The scary thing about that picture is that I'd believe that there are a ton of those switchplates in good Christian homes and the parents NEVER see it for what it really is...
The sell those jesus penis light things at both the Christian and Adult bookstores.
Jesus has a gerkin weenie.
I didn't realize J was so easy to turn on.....
Jesus Dick
Jesus Cock
Jesus Tallywacker
So many possibilities, so little time....
Jilly said cock...teeeheehee
The Surgeon Mary explains it:
Jesus said go ahead flick my dick.. really touch it...
And we all know how that ended up today..
Lawwwwwyyyerrr! Gloria Lawwwyyyeeria.
That switchplate looks like it needs a serious cleaning, right around Christ's netherparts.
I seem to recall reading somewhere that saltpetre used to be given to compulsive masturbators to make their dongs floppy. Of course maybe I'm making shit up, too.
OSF
Compulsive masturbation, holy naughty bits and rock bands. This is why I come here--all the cultural bits.
Looks to me like ole Jesus is kind of represented as a ped o file...
and I am not sure that is such a good thing! :giggles:
Pants- does that mean I have to actually DO something now?
Scott- I was thinking about something like Mother Mary's Afterbirth, or Blessed Placenta. Heh.
Lex- I like the sentence names like "Amanda Huginkiss" or "Helen Bach"
Mrs. C- I have no doubt.
Hammer- you think the "switch lever" glows in the dark?
Meno- "gerkin" makes Schmoopie laugh, as I've been known to say "jerkin the gerkin"...
Cheesy- he WAS a male...
Jill- it's like playing Tourettes.
TTQ- Surgeon Mary is excellent!
OSF- I'd heard the same anti-boner rumor about saltpetre, which makes it funny.
Irr- I'm cultural in the same way a petri dish has a culture.
Melanie- Nobody fucks wit' da Jesus! (That damned pederast...) Heh. I hope you've seen the Big Lebowski.
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