Wednesday, September 05, 2007

A Nostalgic Tale Of Vulgarity

So once upon a time I had a friend named Don who was (and maybe still is) as unusual a character as I am. We were (usually metaphorically) like the ingredients of gunpowder- he the sulfur and I the saltpetre (only because I like saying "saltpetre" more than "nitrates"), and the circumstances would be the charcoal. In any event, we had a lot of verbal challenge games we'd play, and the two most prevalent were making up offensive band names, and silly pseudonyms. In the latter, he was typically "Flexbar Chimpwhistle" and I was "Snodon Bulwark". Maybe you had to be there.

But this post is about this picture and how it sent me back in time to Don's absolute victory in the offensive band name contest. He came up with "Jesus' Penis"

It's golden, I tell ya.



Blogger Nancy Dancehall said...

Did I ever tell you about my record label, Mystic Jism? We've signed a lot of bands similar to yours through the years, like Hungover Mother, Mary Aborted and Freektard. Welcome aboard!

8:51 PM  
Blogger Scott from Oregon said...

Jesus Penis ANd The 12 Possibles?

10:40 PM  
Blogger Lexcen said...

I was thinking along the lines of people who just didn't quite make it make it at being famous but had to endure life with people always asking them, "what did you say your name is?" such as Adolph Kettler, Winston Churchall, Margaret Catcher,
Sigmund Boyd,Albert N Stein.

1:42 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Chili said...

The scary thing about that picture is that I'd believe that there are a ton of those switchplates in good Christian homes and the parents NEVER see it for what it really is...

4:15 AM  
Blogger Hammer said...

The sell those jesus penis light things at both the Christian and Adult bookstores.

7:33 AM  
Blogger meno said...

Jesus has a gerkin weenie.

2:50 PM  
Blogger Cheesy said...

I didn't realize J was so easy to turn on.....

6:03 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

Jesus Dick
Jesus Cock
Jesus Tallywacker

So many possibilities, so little time....

7:08 AM  
Blogger Cheesy said...

Jilly said cock...teeeheehee

8:39 PM  
Blogger TTQ said...

The Surgeon Mary explains it:

Jesus said go ahead flick my dick.. really touch it...

And we all know how that ended up today..

Lawwwwwyyyerrr! Gloria Lawwwyyyeeria.

9:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That switchplate looks like it needs a serious cleaning, right around Christ's netherparts.

I seem to recall reading somewhere that saltpetre used to be given to compulsive masturbators to make their dongs floppy. Of course maybe I'm making shit up, too.

10:07 AM  
Blogger Irrelephant said...

Compulsive masturbation, holy naughty bits and rock bands. This is why I come here--all the cultural bits.

3:42 PM  
Blogger Melanie said...

Looks to me like ole Jesus is kind of represented as a ped o file...

and I am not sure that is such a good thing! :giggles:

4:52 PM  
Blogger Stucco said...

Pants- does that mean I have to actually DO something now?

Scott- I was thinking about something like Mother Mary's Afterbirth, or Blessed Placenta. Heh.

Lex- I like the sentence names like "Amanda Huginkiss" or "Helen Bach"

Mrs. C- I have no doubt.

Hammer- you think the "switch lever" glows in the dark?

Meno- "gerkin" makes Schmoopie laugh, as I've been known to say "jerkin the gerkin"...

Cheesy- he WAS a male...

Jill- it's like playing Tourettes.

TTQ- Surgeon Mary is excellent!

OSF- I'd heard the same anti-boner rumor about saltpetre, which makes it funny.

Irr- I'm cultural in the same way a petri dish has a culture.

Melanie- Nobody fucks wit' da Jesus! (That damned pederast...) Heh. I hope you've seen the Big Lebowski.

5:09 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home