Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Alas Poor Hydrox, I Knew Them Well...

I post this as a courtesy to Schmoopie, who will undoubtedly be in mourning until her next seasonal post. The Hydrox cookie is dead. Long live the Hydrox!

Now, I wouldn't be so crass as to mention that I don't really remember them being any better than say, an Oreo, because one day I suggested as much, and Schmoopie delivered to me a scolding glare the likes of which I cannot bear to revisit. It was right after I'd asked "Whatever happened to Hydrox cookies?" and Schmoopie looked lovingly and sad. This is a serious passion, with which one favoring life and limb shouldn't trifle.

The part that I find interesting is that Kellogs pulled the plug in 2003, and people are just now discovering that they are no more. That means:

1.) These people hoarded cookies like Elaine on Seinfeld hoarded birth control sponges.
2.) These people eat cookies really REALLY slowly.

And then there is Schmoopie, who tries both. She'll buy tons of sweets and then six months later act surprised that the babies and I have eaten it all. And as an aside- to those of you saying "oh SURE Stucco, blame the kids for your lack of self control"- yeah, you're right, but so am I. I exhibit all the restraint of the Cookie Monster to be sure, but then our daughter A. just last week ate something like seven packages of the organic pop-tarts (and come on- ORGANIC pop-tarts? WTF?) in the course of two days.

It's sugary bedlam, I tell you. This is all a sign. And, yay, so it is written, when the Hydrox cookie is no more, bad shit will happen. Or something like that.



Blogger That Guy said...

I don't recall ever eating hydrox cookies. my only, ONLY cookie I like is the generic walmart yellow ones with the stuffing inside (like an oreo but not chocolate) and I highly doubt those will ever go away, nor will Walmart :P ( evil empire laugh)

man i could eat some of those now, thank goodness I live in Colorado which has more sense to BAN walmart from putting a store every 3 miles. Houston (TEXASS SUCKS) had one everywhere, i lived in between 4 of them and could go to either depending on my mood, traffic or general laziness. thankfully I moved away before they got the one built behind my house. NO, NOT KIDDING.

wait, this was about cookies. thread jack! WALMART SUCKS, TEXASS SUCKS heh.

10:41 AM  
Blogger Jodi said...

oh i didn't know they were gone but am now oddly sad and nostalgic for them. anytime any type of chocolate leaves this earth we should all mourn.

11:11 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Chili said...

Never noticed the demise of the Hydrox - it's just not on my radar.

And, really - ORGANIC pop tarts? Don't they cause a rend in the space-time continuum because of their impossible paradox?

12:01 PM  
Blogger Scott from Oregon said...

First whole milk, then the Hydrox...

1:12 PM  
Blogger meno said...

I liked to eat them frozen. the cookies, not me.

2:12 PM  
Blogger That Guy said...

can I be first to say... mmmm frozen women...mmmmmm

2:14 PM  
Blogger General Catz said...

Oh dear. More bits of childhood disappearing, along with beauties like the Chevelle SS, 24 cent per gallon gas, fabulous films, affordable housing, LPs, and cheap drugs.

When my niece is old enough for us to talk about this 'n that, she'll think i'm either making these things up or too old to live.

5:34 AM  
Blogger amusing said...

I didn't know the "Hydrox" was really a cookie -- I thought it was just another word for the beloved Oreo -- like midwesterners say "pop" when really we all know it's called "soda"!

Well, perhaps Schmoopie can find a source in Canada; that's where I was getting my beloved birth control sponges.

And, here's a happily ever after story in sponge world -- they are manufacturing and selling them in the US again -- so maybe there's hope for the return of the hydrox someday!

9:38 PM  
Blogger Irrelephant said...

Was that written in the Kellog Libra El Morte or the Tibetan Book Of The Chocolaty Treat?

3:28 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

Send Schmoopie my condolences. It's a sad sad day when your favorite cookie gets taken off the market. I'm still mourning the loss of chocolate vanilla cream pop-tarts, which may or may not still be on the market, but are not to be found where I live.

4:03 PM  

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