Heidegger, Mucous, and Drano®
So, I was taking pity on myself, and took the simple wonder "why is there so much crap in my lungs?" and marched it swiftly to the extreme "why is there anything?" when the sleeping dog nearest to me whimper-barked and farted. This made me laugh, which then made me cough, which in turn returned me to the original question about my lungs o'shit.
I'm so flippin' tired that I can't really have a protracted train of thought, and my environment is conspiring against that to boot.
The Disco Tent Challenge is still on track. My original sample entry to Johnson & Johnson (makers of Drano):
"Have you ever considered marketing Drano as a treatment for toenail fungus? It kind of burns if you soak for too long, and you should really be outside for fresh air concerns, but wow is it effective! I never really was impressed with Coca Cola as a rust remover, but your product is more than an "urban legend". They never mentioned that the hair on my feet and toes would go away, but who cares about that? I expect you'd have to clearly state that people shouldn't drink it, because some people will try anything and I'm sure drinking Drano would really mess you up."
Garnered a bona fide response:
Thank you for your email regarding DRANO® Clog Remover.
Please be aware that we don't recommend letting this product come in contact with your skin as it may burn eyes, skin and mucous membranes on contact.
If you would like to speak to a trained specialist regarding your past experiences with this product, please call our Medical Information line at 866-231-5406. They will be able to address any questions you may have.
If we can help in the future, please do not hesitate to contact us again.
Consumer Relationship Center
SC Johnson, A Family Company
Toll Free Number: 1-800-558-5252
So time is running out, but it's not too late to win this thing. I'll post submissions and announce a winner 12/25.
Many thanks to those who have mentioned the challenge.