Thursday, September 27, 2007

Back In The Saddle, And It's Chapping My Ass

Okay, so two hellacious work weeks behind me and 15 hours of sleep last night, I'm starting to resume normal functions, such as blogging and the sexual harassment of Schmoopie. I won't bore you with details, other than to say I've made HUGE changes with the IT infrastructure at work, and we're still in business and things are the better for it.

I've been pretty much offline for personal purposes and so if I've not commented on your blog lately, don't get your panties in a bunch (unless that's your thing, in which case- yeah! I meant it)

Normally, I use my (now new and improved) iPod all the time, and when I am in a server room, or working late, I'll listen to podcasts of news programs that I usually miss live. One of the ones I listen to is Randi Rhodes. While I don't agree with her consistently, I appreciate that she is one of the few sources of ACTUAL news. You know- like what Cronkite used to do, before Dan Rather fucked him out of his job (and as an aside, while I think CBS really screwed to pooch with how they handled him and the story of Bush and the National Guard, I shed no tears for Rather. He's a bastard. Walter Leyand Cronkite, Jr. is a real newsman). So with Randi Rhodes, the brass tacks are these- I hear news stories that no one else touches, and she is passionate. Sometimes the latter is tough to endure- like I'm listening to a chick flick or something estrogen-filled thing that guys don't like to suffer through without assurances of getting laid afterward.

I also listen to Thom Hartmann and NPR, and the BBC, but that's about it. The BBC is about the only news source I get that approaches "non-partisanship", except for The Economist, which I read, but has no podcast.

It is my opinion that if you want the real news from any society, listen to the opposition. That is tough to do anymore, since in my view all politicians are all part of the same vile cabal that are out for personal (or affiliate) gain. So, this places me for better or for worse in the camp of the "progressives". That, in and of itself is a testament to their weakness and complacency. Once upon a time, there was the Democratic Party, and by virtue of spinelessness, they allowed their opponents to so sully the party name, that they now have to re-invent themselves under a new moniker. This is the lot of losers that I am forced to contend with just to hear the goddamned news.

As if I weren't painting a grim enough picture, I've listened to the news several hours a day for the past 12 days, to the point of serious overload, and nowhere did I see or hear mention of this:

Here's the link

That's right- the big bad guy who wants to "wipe Israel off the map" is meeting with some Orthodox Jews. Hmm. Welcome to Bizarro Earth. No. Not really. The sad fact of the matter is this- Iran's president is a bad guy (and like ours, may be the product of fetal alcohol syndrome, or inbreeding), yet he is consistently misquoted and misrepresented so that we'll all want to go to war and satisfy Joe "Son of Satan" Lieberman's out-of-control- hard-on to nuke that place. Putting aside patriotism and pride, Iran has WAY more reason to be pissed off at us than the other way around, and the fucked up icing on the whole retarded cake is that there is no need for any of it.

I posted before about the whole Shah saga and how ugly we looked over that (it was a post about the bashing of Jimmy Carter if you want to look it up), and to this day, we still have deliberately frosty relations with Iran, in spite of their overtures for improved relations. We actually helped the current president get the damed job by fucking over the efforts of his predecessor to mend fences with us.

So what's my point? I'll tell you in simple terms. I'm listening to music now. Fuck these fucking fuckers. We get what we goddamned deserve, and it's not my place to make the fucking mouthbreathers who watch NASCAR and professional wrestling wake up and smell the fucking reality. Fuck Jeff Foxworthy, fuck Branson, Missouri, fuck the religious people that are campaigning for a political agenda and not paying taxes, fuck the people who believe the Bible LITERALLY (yes I said it- it's time these people fucking re-read Leviticus and started practicing what they fucking preach), fuck Dancing With The Stars and American Idol, fuck the people who know more about sports than they do about Congress, fuck this culture of celebrating mediocrity.

No. That's not quite right, because fucking is fun, and it often times leads to more of these people. UNfuck all those people/things, and let them die out quickly.

Not that I'm bitter....


Sunday, September 16, 2007

Public Service For Bloggers

People often ask me how I come across the shit that I find on the Internet, and I never really have good answers, but sometimes I run across a fount of material that I can abuse use. As so many of my favorite bloggers have been infrequently posting these days, I can help if writers block is involved. I don't know how or where I came upon this page, but if you are at a loss for material...

This page will cure what ails you... (click me)

Happy Blogging.


My Kind Of Surrealism

I don't know specifically what it is about these drawings, (I'd hesitate to call them comics) that amuse me so, but they definitely resonate with my bent psyche.

Oh, and as for my being lax in posting lately, I worked last weekend and have been super-swamped at work, so I haven't had my regular ration of slacking off. Odds are my posts will be short items like this for a little while longer. I'll be working again next weekend, but then should be back in the saddle.


Monday, September 10, 2007

At Last!

At long last there is a medical treatment for my most egregious medical malady. Donations toward this procedure (may not be safe for work) are being gratefully accepted...


Wednesday, September 05, 2007

A Nostalgic Tale Of Vulgarity

So once upon a time I had a friend named Don who was (and maybe still is) as unusual a character as I am. We were (usually metaphorically) like the ingredients of gunpowder- he the sulfur and I the saltpetre (only because I like saying "saltpetre" more than "nitrates"), and the circumstances would be the charcoal. In any event, we had a lot of verbal challenge games we'd play, and the two most prevalent were making up offensive band names, and silly pseudonyms. In the latter, he was typically "Flexbar Chimpwhistle" and I was "Snodon Bulwark". Maybe you had to be there.

But this post is about this picture and how it sent me back in time to Don's absolute victory in the offensive band name contest. He came up with "Jesus' Penis"

It's golden, I tell ya.


Monday, September 03, 2007

Help Avoid Prostate Cancer

From the researchers at the University of Alabama at Birmingham (article referenced here)

Reduced Risk Prostate Cancer with Regular Ejaculation

An epidemiological study of 30,000 American men by Michael Leitzman, a cancer researcher at the National Cancer Institute in Bethesda, Maryland, has found that men who enjoy an active sex life do not risk prostate cancer in later life.

There has been a suggested link with greater sexual activity and increased incidents of prostate cancer in previous scientific data because of the link with the male hormone testosterone and its effect on promoting cancer cell growth.

Leitzmann’s findings were that men who ejaculate between 13 and 20 times a month had a 14% lower risk of prostate cancer that men who ejaculated on average, between 4 and 7 times a month for most of their adult life.

Men who ejaculated upwards of 21 times a month had a 33% lower lifetime risk of prostate cancer than the baseline group.

Now, I've been mocked before about my "36 hour policy" whereupon if Schmoopie is not available or amorous, I'll tend to matters myself at that interval. Now I find that this may be a lifesaver too.