Saturday, July 07, 2007

8 Thingies

Having been tagged, I submit:

1.) I believe I was supposed to be dead by now. I'm thankful to be here.
2.) I took a Viagra and nothing happened. I mean Schmoopie indulged me in my filthy depraved endeavors all over her, but no spontaneous, bigger, more intimidating, 4-hour long lasting, or otherwise remarkable wood experiences happened. I didn't check the "output" fluid- not my thing, but I knew a guy who was obsessed with his.
3.) My Ego is probably well out of check. I tend to think I am smarter than damned near everyone else. It may be true, but I can't help but thinking that this mindset is unhealthy.
4.) I always match my boxers to my shirt, and my shoes with my belt. Schmoopie says I have latent homosexual tendencies. Whatever.
5.) I REALLY suck at games, perhaps because of the tremendous guilt I feel after playing games over the time wasted.
6.) I've stolen things. Not in some time, but under similar circumstances I would again. It all started when I'd been accused and interrogated about the theft of some things in which I had no part. After that treatment it seemed appealing. I worked with a guy who STOLE HIS FUCKING COMPUTER, DESK AND CHAIR! Amazing.
7.) I consider "obsessed" a pejorative term, used by jealous people, to describe my feelings on the subject of pornography.
8.) I fear that all those years of drinking gallons upon gallons of Diet Coke will still beget medical problems in my future. That shit is highly addictive and just can't be good for living things.



Blogger Nancy Dancehall said...

1) We're thankful too.

2) Give the next Viagra to Schmoop. I hear it does wonderful things for us chicks. Schmoop, let me know what happens.

3) That's because you ARE smarter than most people. And it's perfectly healthy to lord it over them. They have no idea anyway. (P.S. My IQ's 155. Bring it on. ;-) )

4) Dammit! And me without a camera when these tendencies show up...

5) I hate chess because it's too much like life. If I play a game, I want it to be a DISTRACTION from life.

6) I stole a box of comic book trading cards from my job in college. I was hoping for one of the ultra-rare cards so I could sell it back to the shop for rent money. Or maybe it was food money. Anyway, didn't happen.

7) I'm still waiting for that steam-ream you spoke of designing, buddy.

8) Not to mention it breaks down into formaldehyde under extreme heat. Food Nazi out.

9:50 PM  
Blogger mrschili said...

You and me on #3, Buddy.

I have a friend who's been giving me regular rations of shit for, oh, I don't know, about a year now about Diet Coke. I KNOW it's toxic waste, but I'm not making HER drink it, now, am I?

4:12 AM  
Blogger slaghammer said...

Regarding number seven, I used to consider the word “opinionated” a compliment even though I knew it was not meant that way. I’m working on that.

7:07 AM  
Blogger Lexcen said...

Stucco, that's hilarious.LOL

2:14 PM  
Blogger meno said...

1) Maybe you are dead, and this is heaven.....Nah.

2) Huh. Thanks for sharing.

3) I could tell, and i mean that in the nicest way.

4) Thank you.

5) I like games i can play alone, therefore no competition.

6) Hell, who hasn't. I used to work in a bank processing checks and occasionally $ would come through with the checks. Yep, i did.

7) Huh. Do you star in any?

8) I dislike colas in general, but i've smoked my share of cigarettes. Feel better?

4:53 PM  
Blogger General Catz said...

One of the more interesting memes i've ready.

Does regular coke come out as bad as diet?

Keep your eyes on this page for upcoming Rollins s/w gigs.

6:01 AM  
Blogger Hammer said...

I've got diet coke issues too. I must be pickling my insides with all that carbonic acid.

I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else but sometimes I think I have more common sense.

My uncle offered me a bottle of viagra, I was kind of grossed out when he described the gory details of his escapades on a hardon pill binge.

9:56 AM  
Blogger TTQ said...

Hey the guy above me turned down a bottle of viagra??? Shit, that stuff expensive and insurance doesn't pay for least not ours.

Whoever was banging and twisting the mind of Honey before me did a hell of a job. Thank god we don't need the viagra anymore. Mission accomplished.

Excuse me while I go join the witness protection program before he reads this over my shoulder.

4:48 PM  
Blogger Stucco said...

Pants- Mensa quizzes at 10 paces?

Mrs C- I don't think there are second hand effects with Diet Coke consumption, but damn- you can't underestimate how bad that stuff really is.

Slag- it was probably the only 5 syllable word the accuser could use in a sentence, and was meant as praise anyway.

Lex- thank you thank you.

Meno- I can't imagine that there'd be a market for porn with me in it- unless the niche market for albino Orca porn is bigger than I'm imagining. Now Schmoopie on the other hand...

Generalissimo- regular Coke is made from comparatively real ingredients *where corn syrup is a debatable "real ingredient", and as such is probably less harmful.

Hammer- what does Miss Manners say about being offered second-hand boner pills?


9:44 PM  
Blogger amusing said...

Did you wear grrrranimals growing up? It might explain the need for the matchy-matchy.

My ex swears drinking gallons of coke has totally messed up his bladder. I'm wondering how I could fill him up with it and then pop a couple of Mentos in his mouth. (Try it with a liter bottle.)

7:10 PM  

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