Monday, January 22, 2007

Freud Surfacing At Ikea


So this weekend we went to Ikea with out of town friends and as we were heading toward the checkout, there was this bed on display with this name: Hopen. Now, please take a moment and say this word out loud. My loving bride pronounced it like "hoping", as in "hoping to get some action in this bed" in that snarky feminine manner that has the subtext of "yes I do, but not with you". All she needed was to do the "L" with her index finger and thumb on her forehead toward me (or my gender generically). [Note: Schmoopie says this is patently unfair as she cheerfully (and indulgently) "gives it up" with a regularity uncommon in couples married as long as we have been. I merely meant to characterize the frustrating rejection I so frequently faced from her gender peers, and not as a reflection of her typical disposition. I offer this clarification in the hope of preserving my fortunate circumstances.] I had prounced it like "hop in", as in "hop in and get some you naughty little vixen. No, don't take off your knee high boots. Yeah I have wax paper and a double ended toothbrush." Err...

Well at any rate, I was surprised at this difference of perspectives and when we passed there with T and C, they also had the same split of views, although with gender inversion relative to Schmoopie and I. My thesis is that in each couple there is a "hoping" personality type and a "hop in" type.

8 Comments:

Blogger Hammer said...

My first thought was ho pen. But I've always had a strange way of looking at things...

12:13 AM  
Blogger Cheesy said...

Either which way... SOMEONES gettin lucky...

5:53 AM  
Blogger Irrelephant said...

Cripes. I'm loathe to admit it, especially in a public forum, but yes, the moment I saw the word and the contextual clue that it was a bed my mind immediately assigned it "Hop In." The person who named that model HAD to be a guy.

3:23 PM  
Blogger Scott from Oregon said...

I saw both possibilities simultaneously. I also saw ho and I also saw the bed...

All this, quite possibly due to a certain lack of activity lately in the area of Swedish Massage... if you get my drift...

Anybody want to give me an AKEA gift certificate?

9:28 PM  
Blogger slaghammer said...

I saw the word “open,” which made me think of “open for business.” I would keep looking until I found a bed called “Slopen” or “Plowen.”

7:41 PM  
Blogger Nancy Dancehall said...

You had both waxed paper AND a double-headed toothbrush and couldn't get a date!?! What the hell was wrong with the rest of my gender?

Schmoop told me about the bed on the phone and pronounced it Hope-in, so I didn't get a chance to read it first. But, I'd have to agree with her on the pronounciation, as in "I'm hoping this flimsy-looking bed holds together during my next bout of crazy monkey lovin'."

3:26 PM  
Blogger Stucco said...

Scott- I took some weird online survey recently that told me that I have a bisexual brain. I dunno what to think of that. I always thought I was a lesbian trapped in a mans body. Maybe you are similarly wired?

Slag- Ikea is weird. I think they had a bed called "Billy", but I was looking for one called "Shaggun" or similar.

Pants- I'm at this stage thankful that restraining orders weren't popular back when I was trying to compromise myriad young ladies.

8:08 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

My brain is shorting out from the overload of possible double entendres and other rude responses. If you're smelling ozone, that's me.

11:22 AM  

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