Friday, May 01, 2009

Random Thoughts and Scheiße

In Arkansas, Maryland, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennesee, and Texas, there are laws that prohibit atheists from holding office, despite these laws being clearly unconstitutional.

In Massachusetts, blasphemy can get you a year in jail.

Pork sales are down due to fears over Swine Flu (that is to say, people think you can get it from eating pork).

Religion isn't an opiate, it's a crutch. Some people need crutches. Most people use the crutch of religion because they are lazy. I have no use for, and eroding tolerance of either group.

There is a critical flaw in the Scientific Method, which is that hypothesis development is limited by imagination.

These things are fun.

I made a funny recollection/connection today while walking home from the bus stop- I remembered an episode of Beavis and Butt-head, where they were reading some sign and while tracing the text with his finger, Butt-head said "Words, words, words..." Today I made the connection that this is what Hamlet said to Polonius when asked what he read. I bet Mike Judge did this intentionally. It made me laugh again.

I bought a copy of Don Quixote today. I remember reading it a LONG time ago, and in looking at this, I'm certain that I read an abridged copy. From my recollections, I'm feeling a stronger connection to the man from La Mancha than ever before. I need to re-read it and see if I'm remembering it all correctly.

I wonder what those Pastafarians have to say now that the number of pirates has increased and the global climate has not cooled? Clearly the climate is getting warmer due to the lack of typewriter repair personnel. Pirates! Pshyeah! As if. Don't get me wrong- I still hold that: Pirates > Ninjas.

Rick Moranis used to do a powerful impression of David Brinkley on SCTV. And, on that subject, I was right- they consistently pronounced "Camembert" as "Cannon Bear". Woot the fook, you crazy canuks?

I want to find a hooker and ask her "How much for a 'Full Dutch buttering'?"

Where can one buy old style mens sock garters?

Twenty-somethings can't identify 8-Track tapes.

The whole "Hey batter batter batter, hey batter batter batter, SWING batter" thing. What the fuck is that? Are they trying to help? Is it retard night at the ballpark? If it's such a good thing, why don't they ever do that at golfers? I'll tell you why- because Chi Chi Rodriguez would've shiv'd them. Chi Chi didn't fuck around. He'd cut you.

I'm still having trouble finding music.


Blogger Andy said...

Chy Chy Rod-ri-gweeze carried a shiv?

9:54 PM  
Blogger Scott from Oregon said...

Isn't that flaw inately human?

Doesn't that make the flaw a human flaw and not a flaw in the method?

I listened to a talk the other week while falling asleep about why humans are religious.

Not so much a crutch, he claimed, but an evolutionary side-effect.

10:20 AM  
Blogger Gordo said...

I was just reading that a farm worker in Alberta appears to have infected his herd of pigs with the swine flu. I didn't know THAT was possible.

I have to re-read Quixote as well.

Because that's how it's pronounced: "Cannon Bear". Sheesh.

4:05 PM  
Blogger The Young Ones said...

I need a Gurgle Pot. Tell Schmoopie. And I believe you can get old man style sock garters at KG Men's Warehouse "You'll like the way you look."

You make me smile.
Miss T

9:34 PM  

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