Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Bat Shit Crazy Woman In Space

Spreading lunacy across the cosmos

Maybe I'm shallow, but this story is cracking me the hell up. This woman is a special kind of nuts, and I can respect that. The next time I drive a long interstate, I'll be wondering how many women drivers are holding diapers up to their snootches so they don't have to stop to pee. And she's married with three kids. I'd call that divorce a slam dunk. Plus, what does it say about NASA (over and above my previous ranting about how everything they do anymore is glorified poking at shit with a stick) that they can't even find "can do" astronauts/astronuts. When I am talking about the best- I mean the best at all challenges. This crazy broad should have been able to abduct, hogtie, dice and slice, whatever- this other gal. How on earth did she withstand all that g-force stress and crap, and can't even kidnap another woman who was alone? I would LOVE to hear her explaining her plans. Where are the movies based upon this true story?

And I wonder if she had zero-G sex with that other astronaut guy?

She's astro-naughty.


Blogger Hammer said...

I read that nasa did some secret aero g nookie experiments on some shuttle missions.

Who knows? Maybe she likes the reverse space cowgirl position.

1:54 PM  
Blogger Hammer said...

"zero g"

1:56 PM  
Blogger Cheesy said...

LMAO@ astro-naughty

Even the rocket scientists I guess can be loons... Or wait... ya ya its space madness! She was infected with an alien virus!
[I should call and see if she needs a redheaded lawyer?]

2:19 PM  
Blogger Irrelephant said...

"I can't believe my own first mate attacked me." Sorry, all this space madness brought out my inner Ren.

Okay, so the lady is full-gonzo shit-house rat crazy. So are the rest of us, we're just better at hiding the black plastic bags and the clown hammer.

3:27 PM  
Blogger Schmoopie said...

Heh. I'm "aqua-naughty!"

4:07 PM  
Blogger Scott from Oregon said...

Boy, are you guys gonna eat crow when it turns out she has a tumor the size of Pluto in her head or some such crap...

6:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Traveling from Houston to Florida for a spur of the moment trip: $81.00

Large Mountain Dew, Pork Rinds, black gloves, a folding knife, rubber tubing and trash bags: $24.92

Bail: $25,500

Peeing my pants: Priceless

If they let a nut like this fly on the shuttle, maybe I have a chance.


10:06 AM  
Blogger That Guy said...

Sadly this is really big news in Houston. While I was watching TV Fox news interrupted with a special new breaking blah blah bullshit of... her arraignment. Yup, thats it, lets take out 5 minutes of you time to announce a quack job who wears a diaper to travel to Orlando and kidnap her lovers other interest has now been arraigned, or maybe arrested I dunno, I was too busy screaming at the tv to DIE!!!! heh. I need a paxil, bbl.

I hate this place.

10:56 AM  
Blogger slaghammer said...

Just think of how it might have gone if she had been chosen for a Mars mission, a year or two all cooped up together in tight, sweaty quarters with a statistical imbalance between cootchie cootchies and meat hammers, oh my god, it may be too late to copyright that idea, dammit!

10:56 PM  
Blogger Vulgar Wizard said...


6:35 PM  

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