Sunday, December 21, 2008

So, How Is It Where You Are?

One the one hand, it doesn't snow here much, so there are few plows and such. On the other hand, people here don't know what the hell they are doing in bad weather. To be fair the tendency is for snow to come AFTER a good ice storm/freezing rain, so you get a great sheet of black ice under the snow when it does snow. It's tough to walk. Hills + ice + Seattle drivers. Get a good viewpoint, and you're all set.


Saturday, December 13, 2008

Finally- Holiday Spirit I Can Get Behind

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Perfunctory Phone Pics Post

Just how bad is the economy when this seems appropriate?

Z. drew this one day and taped it to his door. It's a bat, in a bikini top and panties that say "Bloomers for Tuesday". I have no idea how this came about.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Stucco's Helpful Torture Tips, Part II

Howdy hey, kids and kitties- put away your waterboards and trickle chargers. There is a NEW torture method in town. Like all the best methods, it only leaves EMOTIONAL scarring and trauma. Discovered in Seattle at the end of 2008, this procedure is GUARANTEED to get you all the confessions you will ever need.
What you will need:


1.) Place earbuds in victims ears. DO NOT plug into any audio source, despite any inclinations to torture your subject with Barry Manilow. Let the little metal plug dangle loosely.

2.) Rub polar fleece clothing against itself until a healthy static charge is created.

3.) Touch metal plug from earbuds to the polar fleece clothing, transferring the static charge (and alarming crackle/sizzle sounds) directly into the sensitive inner ear of your victim.

4.) Collect confession.

This environmentally friendly torture tactic featuring renewable energy is brought to you by Stucco Z. Tard.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

"You talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded" - Idiocracy

Who knew that movie was non-fiction?

Do I hate my country? Not exactly, but I'm really fucking pissed off about my fellow citizens. I can't abide people. That's what it comes down to- I can't stand almost everyone. Those that celebrate this completely low-brow, unenlightened, materialistic, self-centered, vapid, dangerous, filthy, wasteful, and ignorant culture ARE the problem. It's "game over" time here, and I'm not crazy about the idea of leaving this place. I mean, this is MY country too- why should I have to leave?

I'm simply outnumbered by people who would pose little girls with guns and not notice that they are pointing them near to or at one another.